first rays of the new rising sun

the first entry of a blog should be interesting, but mine won't be, because today was just not an interesting day. i woke up at about 11, ate breakfast, and listened to blood on the tracks, oh mercy, a pete seeger vinyl and a roy orbison album while doing the dishes. (i know, i know, i have very diverse musical taste. i was feeling vintage.) i had to get out of the shower after only half an hour because i had the heat up so high that my mom was worried i'd set off the smoke alarm. eventually i dragged my sick (by this i mean infirm) self outside of the house to shop (unsucessfully). out of sheer boredom i decided to finally create the blog i'd been thinking about and talking about for a few weeks, because i'm just that egotistical.

despite the fact that today was dull as all hell, last night was wonderful. i went to this karaoke lounge-thing with some friends and discovered that paint it black is not in my key. at all. i finally gave up and just shreiked the damn thing, hoping that my lack of talent would be either overwhelmed by harry's loud voice or mistaken for passion. afterwards- orange bear! everyone was there, even the freshmen, which was mildly annoying, because when i was a freshman i didn't go to these things. the problem with this years' freshman class, especially the girls, is that they think they're just that cool. i'm not saying that they're not; it just pisses me off that they think so. people who think they're that cool rarely are, in my opinion.

alas, i ramble. what i kept thinking about last night was the way a person defines themself over time. i've always felt undefined; only now am i really beginning to "come out of my shell" (i hate that phrase) and stop being intimidated by people so easily. what i found fascinating was the idea that every person who said "hey, veronica" or "hey, v.v." to me last night had some concept, accurate or not, of what "veronica" means, of who i am. i actually found this mildly disturbing, because i have no idea what "veronica" means. if we have no other power or ability in life, we will always have the ability to define our own names to the people that we meet. i've always known this, but last night it struck me in a new way, perhaps because i felt as though my name had taken on a new meaning over the past year to so many people, for better or for worse.

how's that for a first entry?
don't answer that.