Friday, August 12

I'm in tune

What I don't like about myself:
I'm irritable and self-centered
I'm a bad daughter
I fight with my dad a lot
Once I get really, really comfortable with people, I tend to get snappy with them
I still don't feel understood by anyone
I don't feel intellectually appreciated by anyone
I live off of chicken, granola bars and jello cups
I'm a bad vegetarian
I trust people too much sometimes
I'm easily disillusioned and deluded
I doubt myself
I don't try to hide my faults or seem normal
I don't know how to take a compliment
I don't know how to accept a gift
I don't know how to give a compliment
I like lying to strangers
I cry a lot
I think I resent my dad most because I'm afraid to be like him one day
I'm a lot like my dad
I've done things that I'm ashamed of
I always think I heard my name when I didn't
I procrastinate writing stories when I have free time and end up writing them during class or instead of doing things with my friends
I get nervous talking to people (even little kids) that I haven't met
I still nourish a dream of being famous like Bob Dylan
I fantasize about what my first book will look like when I can't sleep
I have trouble sleeping
I have a lot of fears
I'm more materialistic than I'd like to be
I tell my sister everything, which is a little selfish of me, because I don't think she's ready for everything I have to tell her
When I'm embarassed, I act really frivolously and get embarassed about it later
I bottle up my emotions sometimes
I can't play music to save my soul
I always think that people dislike me when they actually don't
I'm not appreciative enough of what I have

What I like about myself:
I'm smart
I'm more well-read than most people my age
I've known a lot of different emotions
I've known people from all sorts of places and lifestyles
There are people who like me. I'm starting to understand this.
I'm capable of appreciating high art
I'm capable of finding artistic merit in the mundane
I feel less and less of a need to be understood as I grow older
When I'm comfortable with someone, I'm a good conversationalist
Although I have a lot of fears, I don't let them stop me from doing things like talking to strangers or to people I'm intimidated by
Although I'm very sensitive and easily hurt, I'm capable of healing and arighting myself
I have good taste
I can spout random musical and literary facts on command
I'm outgoing
I'm affectionate towards a lot of people
I'm constantly thinking and easily intellectually stimulated
I almost never get bored
I have awesome friends
I have Harry
I appreciate a lot people
I like most people
I'm confident enough now to go anywhere and not feel daunted by it, Urban Outfitters included
I'm learning to treat myself nicely
I'm learning to eat better
I'm learning to write better
After all this time, I'm starting to really enjoy being myself and living my life.

1 New Ideas

New Ideas:
Anonymous Anonymous thinks...

(I just stumbled on your blog by accident...and I must say...)

Your blog is some of the most adolescent, self-centered rambling I've ever read, repeated over and over again...it's what every teenager with intellect and some originality would say given the discipline to write, and the passion for introspection that you have.

With that said, it's pretty un-put-down-able, your life's escapades on a blog. You would make a really good memoir-ist, when you get older, and have gotten a sense of humor on your situation, I think. Like Marion Winik, David Sedaris, Elizabeth Wurtzel...those folk.

Entertaining. Thanks.

8:23 PM  

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