I'm a lot better now in that I recognize in advance that a lot of my fears and phobias are irrational, a lot of my moods are hormone-induced, and a lot of my insecurities are baseless. I'm more in control. I can stop and breathe and put my face in Harry's chest and come out fine. I can be happy and feel free and good and alive. But it's still hard to try to throw away every mental and physical pattern I've fallen into over the last six months and restart my life. I don't know what will happen when my last few friends graduate. Maybe I'll get to know my grade a little better. They're really not all that bad. Maybe I'll be able to devote more time to writing and photography and political awareness and reading.

It'd be a lot easier to help myself if I didn't have to come home to this.