Facebook is like MySpace without the bitter edge and the high-school-ish pictures everyone puts up to make themselves look sexy. It actually feels kind of homey. And I'm Evan's mother.

I was reading some of my old posts last night trying to get a sense of myself, and realized that my grammar wasn't that good. Granted, it was better than most high school kids', but there were obvious errors that I had assumed I could never make. It's been over a year now. I guess that's enough time to grow up a little.

Expanding on what I said briefly yesterday: I've somehow gained this sense that high personal standards are dangerous. I hate to admit it, but my personal standards are extremely high. Ever since I was about ten I've wanted to grow up to be a literary genius and write the next great american novel, and I know it's impossible. So I force negativism on myself and take a grim view of the adult world. I guess I watched my dad get kind of depressed when he was unemployed for a while, and my relatives are almost uniformly religious zealots with emotional problems and either too many or too few marriages/children under their belts. When I was little I wanted to be a doctor like my Uncle Oscar because I thought that he was living proof that medicine was the only way for someone in our family to escape insanity. (I also liked the stethescope.) Anyway, from here my future doesn't look too bad, provided I don't drop out of school or anything.

It kills me that I'm a B+ student because it's so close to an A-. A few more A's might get me into an Ivy. So I can't help but feel like I screwed myself over in a serious way. I know I'm being melodramatic and all, but I really liked Brown and I hate that I won't be able to go there.

So I started out trying to express myself and just ended up talking about colleges. That seems to happen a lot these days. Yuck.