a day in the life (kind of out of order because I'm tired)

In the morning it's tap-tap-tap down the stairs and the pink panther and jazz hands and that incredible thing called beat that I can only grasp every now and then but that I feel everywhere, just beyond my reach, under the skins of everything and under the soles of my shoes and above me as the clouds pass by. Then it's smiling people and I have no bitterness at all, I just like them. And incredibly awesome technology in the hands of those few people who care about that stuff, and when you talk to them about it you can see something crawling out of a cave in their minds and blinking. And then sketching and writing my way through biology and marvelling at the otherworldy graphs Mr. Z shows us (math is finally getting complicated enough to be cool) and tap-tap-tap and digging through the bullshit in Spieldenner's class and enjoying the company of Elisa Shapiro and Moll, who get it, and lovely Lily whom I adore and then Lullabye of Birdland, that's what I / always hear / when you sigh/ never in my wordland could-there-be-words-to-explain... lovely Alida bearing her soul, Adam and Maddy and Rachel finally starting to relax, Bob in another world, unaware of the changes that have come over the physical realm, drifting through everything double-time swing-time blind and alive. And Ms. Reyes, happy even though she's leaving because she really does love her children, all fifty of us, and has an elephant's memory and a sparrow's song and will never really leave us. And Harry's ring around my neck and feeling strong and bright, and Robin yelling at me for being disorganized and hushing when I explain my schedule. And jazz in the meetinghouse, Bob so proud to show us his world YEAH sha-doo-ba-doo-BUH buh BAAA and DFL grinning, above everything, riding the smooth stream of notes like none of us ever will. And buying grapes and shishkabobs with Matt and sneaking them into Barnes & Noble so I can buy a book for Harry, who's working so hard, and singing spoonfulspoonfulspoonfFULSPOONful down the street and Lucas reminds me that we heard Cream play it and Clark notices that I'm dancing barefoot and a year of persuasive work is undone in an instant of laughter. TAP TAP TAP the sidewalk rolls. And at home clicking through webcomics and wikipedia and procrastinating until I finally buckle down and reread the damn book and then I'VE GOT IT and it's brilliant and I'm not taking any more of that B+ shit from now on. I GET it. It's all in front of me. And tap-tap-tap my fingers fly, pausing between paragraphs to eat easter chocolates taht we got in the mail from BusinessWeek, red and white candy coins embossed with their logo. And a break in the middle to talk to my Harry and feel proud of him. And he loves me and I'm his sweet V and he's my man my little boy and we're tired and busy and so so happy. And a minute to email Frankie about pride and solidarity and then spill my tired full happy mind onto my blog before I finish the damn paper and fall asleep with a white bear in a PRATT shirt tucked into my arms, making me feel full and empty all at once. And so alive! And I'm so very tired now and lullabyeofbirdland is singing me to sleep in my head, but I still have to finish the damn paper and I don't even mind.