See beyond the houses in your eyes
It's last period Tuesday and I'm pretending to write my Ex Ed essay in the computer lab. (How ridiculous is that?) I can't stop thinking about all my bad habits, like biting my nails and getting snappy when I have my period and misdirecting my stress and eating unhealthy things that make me unhappy.
The worst habit of all, however, is the one I'm most determined to stop: acting frivolous.
I kind of do this thing where I eat chocolate or recieve a compliment or something and get ridiculously happy and act like a five year old. And even when I'm doing it I hate myself for doing it; I see it as though from somewhere else and I realize that it's not me, not who I am or who I want to be. I can be happy without seeming stupid; I can be free without being insane.
I also do this when I don't know how to deal with something--someone I'm intimidated by, or when I don't know how to react or what to say.
So this post is to bid farewell, I guess, to my idiotic, five-year old self and embrace my empowered, unintimidated, wild free summer gypsy love self.
The worst habit of all, however, is the one I'm most determined to stop: acting frivolous.
I kind of do this thing where I eat chocolate or recieve a compliment or something and get ridiculously happy and act like a five year old. And even when I'm doing it I hate myself for doing it; I see it as though from somewhere else and I realize that it's not me, not who I am or who I want to be. I can be happy without seeming stupid; I can be free without being insane.
I also do this when I don't know how to deal with something--someone I'm intimidated by, or when I don't know how to react or what to say.
So this post is to bid farewell, I guess, to my idiotic, five-year old self and embrace my empowered, unintimidated, wild free summer gypsy love self.
posted by VVM at 11:42 AM
6 New Ideas
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Lucas thinks...
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- 4:23 PM
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Anonymous thinks...
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- 9:44 PM
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Harris Wolf thinks...
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- 9:49 PM
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Anonymous thinks...
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- 6:52 AM
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Contesa thinks...
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- 7:20 AM
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Anonymous thinks...
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- 9:21 PM
It ain't unintimidated if you hide part of yourself.
Speaking from a point of view of total hypocrisy, I urge you to be yourself.
must i repeat?
you are a silly.
ok here this goes. 1, when you don't know what to say, you do the "nervous laugh". eeevvvvverrrryooonnnneeee nervously laughs. it's not like you're alone or something. and everyone is intimidated by people. you know me dude, i'm like, insanely stupid when i'm very intimidated and i just collapse everywhere and it's horrible. so you're good. 2, it's good to be ridiculously happy about stuff. like sometimes when like, a stupid inside joke comes up, i get ridiculously happy. and that is a good thing. HAPPY IS GOOD, you silly. don't be like those people who are like "bah, i shall sit in the corner and be unhappy and drink black coffee and wear all black and write really bad depressing poetry like those dudes in hitchikers guide to the galaxy." instead be like you who is like "i'm really happy and i'm obsessed w/ coffee and i like to write sad poetry except it's good and i'm all chill and cheerfullnessish" oh and acting like a five year old sometimes is good - like in that friends episode where phoebe and rachel go jogging and phoebe runs all crazy like a 5 year old and rachel is like eww you embarass me and phoebe is like well running like you did when you were little is the only way running is fun. she had a really good point. running sucks, but like, crazy running is fun. that was totally incoherent but trust me, there was a point to that phoebe story and she had a really good point and yes, it is related to you blog sort of. dude, we're gonna go to the park and run around and frolic in fields of flowers and dance around to hair and beatles and shit and people are gonna think we're crazy but we don't know them so it doesn't matter. and you can't object to this. you cannot. not to reuse this phrase but by decree of elena, as soon as veronica is freed, she shall dance in fields of flowers while singing hair and she shall act like a five year old and laugh a lot. dude this is wrong. like woahness. role-reversal. you're supposed to be telling me to laugh more, not me telling you. be yourself. and by the way, i know i've said this but there is no "not me" or whatever. you are always yourself. you can never not be yourself. and if you're trying to act like someone else you're still yourself acting like someone else. you can never be another person until your brain is like, phisically that of another person, so yeah. be yourself- that crazy happy laughing (funny cry happy! sorry. had to say that) cool funky colorful flowery dancing singing outgoing fearless unique beautiful cheerful (the greatful, the cheerful, the really really nearful, put put! goes to the moon...sorry sorry, i really really had to...OMG and barner, barner barner barner barn barner....omgggg best times EVER and fatty bear and casper and freddie fish and pea shooting pete and moes and dis is moes home piano estudio and the trouble with angels like back in the day of sleepovers and brownie mix and i love lucy and barbies and linkin logs and the yomubusk land dictionary and our computer diary OOOOOOMG omg omg omg omg omg seriously seriously seriously best times ever) amazing smart poetic wonderful person who is my best friend. i heart you dude. and think of that like, huge stream of shit i put in parentheses. it's GOOD to do five year old things. OMG WE ARE GOING TO PLAY FATTY BEAR. FATTY BEAR IS GOD. AND WE ARE GOING TO MAKE BROWNIES OUT OF THE MIX. and make ice pops from juice concentrate cuz i like those and i think we made them once and watch the trouble w/ angels and willy wonka because i love that movie and putt putt and EVERYTHING we did when we were little we are going to do. and sing beatles. don't forget the beatles. omg and watch HDN. and MOVIE MARATHON OMG ALADDIN. WE HAVE TO WATCH ALADDIN. I LOVE ALADDIN. and the little mermaid. and other music and shit. OMGGGG DUDE we are gonna have an awesome summer. and go to the beach. we will we will. omg and get ices from like, uncle louie g's cuz i love that place. and get ice cream from that place at jones beach. OMG AWESOME SUMMER YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY i am seriously overly exited to the point of like, weirdness. SEE OVER HAPPINESS is good except it creates huger than ever comments. dude so much has changed since third grade it is absolutely unbelievable. absolutely. i cannot believe it. i'm wondering what else is gonna change. whatever. ok i'm going to call you tommarow and end this comment now cuz it's crazy.
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I swear to god that although I try to be as good a person as possible I *cannot* seem to ever read through all of elena's comments.
so. many. words.
... very disjointed words at that.
aaanyways... *grin* Good for you Veronica!
Don't try and supress yourself or anything like that... but relaxing a bit and not letting yourself get as nervous and or jittery is a good way to live life!
... at least I think so anyways.
-relaxed and collected love-Bogo-San.
Yeah...I agree with what harry said. You also have to remember people get irritated and then say irritable things. That's life. There's no reason to be deeply ashamed if those things happen to be comming out of your mouth. Every one gets irritable sometimes.
As for being happy...just enjoy it. If you don't like the way that you act when you're happy then you can chgne that, but make sure that you don't get rid of your happyness in the process because your happyness is much more important.
--Zack
Just be glad, some people have forgotten how to be happy at all! There is no such thing as too happy, trust me. And embracing your inner child is perhaps more grown up than what "society" tells you a grown up should look like, so..
WHERE ARE YOU. write more on this blog, dude. because i said so. you should. what else am i supposed to do in the middle of the night when i'm supposed to be studying for finals? and i know i could call u and wake up your parents and renata, but i can't really so WRITE. and i know i saw you on friday, but whatever, that was the first time i saw you in like zillions of years. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FREINDS it feels like i haven't seen in zillions of years. i have issues. bah. whatever. write, you poo. and haha, harry's comment is funny. like i actually laughed. i meant the thing, where he was like "so. many. words." i really do write epic blog comments. and they are awesome, obviously. so HA. I WIN. i win at commenting. nooone not even u dude can read it all. except this one isn't gonna be that long cuz i gotta go except u have to call me soon cuz i have shit to tell you. goddamn melodramatic evil theater people friends at school who i feel compelled to tell you stories about. argh. so much anger. so much anger that would be odd if it were in this comment. and i can't put it on my lj cuz ljs suck and i've abandoned mine. it can go and live in the streets and starve. woah now i really feel bad. it can go and live in the crazyness of computerness. whatever. i WILL see you soon. AND WE ARE going to chill in the summer. cuz i can't chill for the next like, bazillion weeks. actually that'd be 2 weeks. whatever. finals can go and fuck themselves. i hate them. I HATE THEM. omg i HATE them. like it's not funny. ok fuck i really have to study.
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