It's incredible how much you can learn from Wikipedia. I thought my head would burst. Did you know that Shakespeare only split one infinitive in all of his printed works? Watched Jailhouse Rock a few minutes ago with my dad, who was fascinated by the infinitive debate. I could live alone in a cave with nothing but Elvis music and movies and be happy for the rest of my life.

I think I made myself pretty clear in my last letter from the editor, but for those of you who didn't read it, I fully endorse personal pride, so long as condescension isn't part of the package. I'm up for criticism. But I'm not conceited. I actually am intelligent, attractive, loving and interesting, even at my young age. And a lot of people I personally think are intellectual and generally awesome seem to agree, because they keep hanging out with me. Yes, I hold high standards for myself, but without aspiration, there would be no high art. And it's conceit to believe that you can judge people by their naked one-in-the-morning daily recaps and cowardice to justify it by leaving your first name.